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The song remains the same
Sunday, December 13th, 2009 at
10:52 pm
Somehow or other I’ve been suffering from a lack of blogging juices lately…with the help of a little Diana Krall playing in the background hopefully I can get this post published. The crux of the matter is that this festive season has left me a bit depressed—not to the point where I have to resort to medication yet, thank God. After all I have many things to be thankful for (and I do thank the good Lord for my blessings, every day). However, it is hard to feel upbeat all the time when some treacherous curveballs have been thrown my way. Trying my best to duck out of harm’s way, not 100% successful though.
I’m going through a major crisis in my life—something that will probably get worse before it gets better. I don’t want to elaborate too much yet, but the constant source of support that I’ve gotten from friends and relatives has been very encouraging. Nonetheless, it hurts when I have time to ponder, which is why I’m trying to keep myself preoccupied with anything I can find—my teaching, blogging, reading, exercising. Idle minds do give fodder to the devil and his workshop…it’s a blessing that I can feel that there are people who are praying and genuinely concerned about my well-being.
I know it’s silly, but I wish the beaming technologies of Star Trek could be available now. Instead, I have to get onboard a 747 if I want to get out of here. And that costs money, damn.
Still, all it takes is a little warm encouragement from a friend, who says “Hang in there.” Or the smile of a student when I gently encourage her to play (that happened today!) And whaddaya know, a student gave me an early Christmas present—thanks, Jason and Sue! Little things do matter and mean a lot to me…and that’s what keeps me buoyant, instead of slumbering down and wallowing in a mess of self-pity. And let’s not forget music…that really helps to soothe my troubled soul.
Apologies if this post sounds downhearted—it’s the time when we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ—a miracle of miracles. I’ll just have to shoulder on and hopefully God willing, next year will see better days ahead for me…
Season’s Greetings to all my readers. Have a joyous Christmas and Happy New Year.
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Someone help me, I’m getting soft!
Sunday, November 29th, 2009 at
11:53 pm
Alright, I confess—maybe it was that sojourn at the Coffee Bean last week that triggered the sentimentalist in me. After listening to them playing all those Christmas songs sung by the likes of Bing Crosby, Doris Day, Judy Garland, Nat King Cole, etc. I emerged feeling a wee bit woozy, but it was a nice, warm feeling inside me (and yeah, maybe the Ice Blended Coffee contributed to it too) Anyways, what better way to express it or let it out but through music, and so here’s my own personal recording and arrangement of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. This song was first sung by Judy Garland in the 1944 MGM musical Meet Me in St. Louis. The lyrics were criticized as being too depressing in its original draft, so songwriter Hugh Martin made several changes. Here are the tweaked lyrics, in case you want to sing along with my playing:
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yuletide gay,
From now on,
our troubles will be miles away.
Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.
Through the years
We all will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself A merry little Christmas now.
I recorded all the backing tracks myself, putting in a sad muted trumpet first, followed by another solo trumpet. And I have another confession to make—I had actually wanted to modulate a half-step higher near the end, from C major to C sharp major. But as I was recording it, I detoured to A flat major instead. It sounded different but I liked it, so I left it in. Hope you enjoy this performance of mine.
If you’d like to listen to my piano-only version, it’s online here.
May the coming Christmas season fill all our hearts with love, peace, and joy.
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The ABC’s of Me (G)
Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 at
11:20 pm
G: Gratitude, Gifts
“Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy—because we will always want to have something else or something more.” Brother David Steindl-Rast
“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” Cicero
“The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.” Eric Hoffer
“To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.” Johannes A. Gaertner
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Melodie Beattie
“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was "thank you," that would suffice.” Meister Eckhart
Because of my Christian upbringing I was always taught to be thankful for all the things that God has bestowed upon us. I am glad for this, because I have found out that when the storms of life hit you at full force, gratitude might not be the first thing you think about, but trust me, it’s an absolute life-saver. Being thankful has helped me sail through those turbulent waters that come my way…and I am stronger because of it.
Yes, no doubt it’s hard to be grateful in this materialistic world that we live in—always wishing I had a bigger car, a bigger house, a nicer stereo, a newer Yamaha Clavinova (hee hee), more money, etc. I’ve learnt my lesson—not to give in to this, because God gives us just what is enough…and then some. Blessings are not tied only to material and worldly things. I am thankful for my health (especially my eyes!), my family and relatives, my friends, etc. I wake up each day and I say a humble thank you to the Lord for another day. I go to bed every night and I say the same thing again. A thankful heart is a happy heart.
I will always remember and treasure this little nugget of wisdom someone told me when I was a young boy: “I used to complain that I didn’t have any shoes to wear, until I saw a person who had no feet.”
This video called The Miniature Earth always has me choked up. Watch it, and be thankful, my fellow readers. God bless you all.
“Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.” Anthony Robbins
“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you?" William Ward
“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.” Babatunde Olatunji
“Everyone is gifted—but some people never open their package.” Unknown
For me my gift is music, particularly playing the piano. The best part I feel, is when I share this gift out with others. Whether it’s teaching the piano to students, or playing the piano at the hotel…’tis a joy. And there are also many other gifts that we all have…the gifts of kindness, gratitude, and compassion, to name a few. These gifts reside inside us—it’s up to each one of us to decide whether to allow them to come out from within our souls.
I’m also not going to deny not liking physical gifts. After all, I gave myself a birthday present not too long ago. However, the most wonderful gifts don’t require money to buy, and that’s why they are so special—a gift of friendship, a gift of love, a gift of caring…ah, it just warms my heart!
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Years in America (episode 3)
Wednesday, May 6th, 2009 at
3:52 pm
An aside: for the benefit of my readers following these series of blog posts, I honestly don’t know what came over me, but for the past week I’ve been swept off by a wave of nostalgia regarding my years spent abroad. It was like the memories suddenly came flooding back, so rather than keeping it to myself I’ve decided to share them as it were, in my blog. It’s a cloudy Wednesday afternoon here (with impending signs of rain) as I write this. Claudio Arrau’s wonderful Debussy Preludes is playing in my CD-ROM drive. Now relax as I take you back in time, way back to January 1981…
If my memory serves me correctly, the following day was the first day of school. I woke up early in the morning, lined up for my shower, brushed my teeth, and got dressed (it’s pretty informal in college, just a T-shirt, a pair of jeans, a jacket, and a pair of sneakers) A sea of humanity greeted me as I left my dorm. It looked like thousands of ants walking everywhere on campus. After a quick breakfast at the Student Union, I left for my first class at the School of Music.
There was a flurry of activity in the School of Music, which was to be expected. I found my way to the lecture hall for the first class, and we were soon briefed by the professor about the class, what he’d be covering for the semester, quizzes and exams, assignments, etc. In other words, the usual stuff. I sat next to a few American students (I was the only Asian there) and we exchanged hellos and introductions.
After that had finished I had to go see my Music Adviser, a Mr. Keith Johnson. He’d be my adviser until further notice so I could approach him for help anytime during school hours. I was told to sign up for a practice room which had a grand piano (Piano majors are entitled to this), register myself at the Music Library, and check out all the facilities the School had to offer (the 544-seater Crowder Hall was very nice, and that would be the venue for my Senior Piano recital in April 1984) But the most important thing I had to do on that day was to meet Dr. Roy Johnson, the director of Keyboard Studies at the time.
I reach Dr. Johnson’s room, give a knock on the door and hear a voice saying “Come in.” I enter and exchange hellos with Dr. Johnson for the first time, and I instantly like him. He had a very friendly manner within him and he wanted to know whether I was doing ok, seeing that I had come all the way from England. I mumble a shy yes, and I notice two other gentlemen in the room. They were both piano professors, one was Ozan Marsh and the other was Nicholas Zumbro. Dr. Johnson casually asked them who would like to become my piano teacher. Mr. Zumbro promptly responded with an affirmative yes. I take a second look at him again—at 6’4” at least, he towered over my 6’1” frame. And he was broader than me anytime! Something inside me instantly told me that I’d better not mess with this guy.
Note: I was saddened to hear that Dr. Johnson was senselessly murdered in a robbery attempt on February 28, 1995 just outside Tucson, after he’d finished giving a recital. The killer is on death row.
To cut a long story short, I stuck it out with Nicholas Zumbro as my piano teacher until I graduated in May 1984. Of course I’ve had piano teachers before, but this guy was the cream of the crop. He was a disciplinarian, and he was very strict. If you didn’t do your practicing, you’d better not attend his class, because he would bite your head off, literally. The first time I entered his studio, I was impressed—there were two Steinway grands in the room. I remember vividly my first encounter with the Steinway when he told me to sit down and play something. I tried to launch into a Schubert Impromptu, and my God, the keys were so heavy! Mr. Zumbro noticed my predicament and soon he launched into one of his many mini lectures about tone production. Suffice to say if it were not for him, my fingers would still resemble jelly now.
Come to think of it, these Malaysian students that I teach nowadays don’t realize that they are dancing on a bed of roses. During my years with Mr. Zumbro, I was scolded, mocked, belittled, humiliated, chastised—you name it, he did it. But he did those things because he really cared about my progress. He did this to all of his piano students; I later heard that many had opted for other teachers after a semester with him, but my gut was telling me not to be stupid—this teacher would kick my arse over and over, but I would become a better performer because of it. And I did. With him, everything had to be perfect. He ingrained into me the use and importance of the metronome. His was a no-nonsense approach to piano playing, it was something to be taken seriously, and if you thought otherwise, you know where the exit is!
The cool thing about Mr. Zumbro was his love for Jazz. I’ll never forget seeing him play parts of Gershwin’s Piano Concerto—he’d just tear through it. And when he did some jazz improvisations with other students and myself, that was truly fun. When he gave me a compliment I’d relish it, because it came straight from the heart, he never dished out compliments just to make a student feel better. No way. And soon, he would be dropping hints about a coffee or a Coke, which I’d dutifully buy for him from a Wendy’s across the road.
There was another lesson I learnt from those early days in the university. I had to meet another professor by the name of Paula Fan (she was the director of Accompanying) My Fine Arts Scholarship was dependent on my doing at least 4 semesters of accompaniment at the university. Now at this time in my life, my sight-reading was literally crap, so I sneakily wanted a way out of this. When Miss Fan told me I had to start accompaniment straight away for that semester, I told her very casually that I had a lot of other classes to attend, and would it be possible to defer accompaniment until the Fall? (I was stalling for time) Till this day I will never forget her reply. She bluntly told me, “Either do it now or I will terminate your Scholarship immediately.” I almost fainted right on the spot!!
Yes, she kicked my arse real hard, but I have her to thank for the amazing progress in my sight-reading. I worked like there was no tomorrow to improve it. And improve it I did, until Miss Fan herself was surprised. But that’s for another post. So if any of my present-day students are reading this, consider yourselves very fortunate!
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The best years of my life (episode 3)
Thursday, April 30th, 2009 at
10:32 pm
Doing the Foundation Course in Music at the West London Institute was just a preliminary step to my going to either one of the Royal Schools of Music in London, or to an undergraduate degree in a university. After some deliberation, I decided on the latter, as I didn’t want to mix with only music students. I went ahead with my applications to a few British universities. At that time it was very difficult for foreign students to obtain local financial aid whilst studying in the UK. My elder brother had also arrived in the UK some months after myself, to pursue an Electronic Engineering course. So I understood the financial burdens placed on my parents. Nevertheless, they told us to go ahead with our studies.
Then as fate would have it, Margaret Thatcher and her Conservative party won the UK general elections, and she became Prime Minister in May 1979. The following year she announced a shocker—university fees for foreign students would be tripled from their present rates. I knew that this would have a serious impact on my parents’ ability to support both myself and my brother (who incidentally, had committed himself to completing his university education in England) Fortunately I happened to be staying with another Malaysian roommate at that time, and this guy was applying to American universities. He shared some facts and info with me, saying that there was a possibility that US universities would offer financial aid to eligible students.
What do you expect, I was barely 20, I was young, I was adventurous, and this seemed like a perfect opportunity to cross the pond (i.e. the Atlantic Ocean) to America. So I went to the local library, did some research on American universities, and sent off some requests for application forms and information (no Internet then, remember? Everything was done by writing letters and mailing them)
Waited for a week or two, and then the application forms came. I applied to quite a diverse mix of universities and music conservatories, including the Eastman School of Music, Julliard, Oberlin, plus the Universities of Arizona, Indiana, Missouri, Texas, Minnesota, and Wisconsin. As I said, quite an eclectic mix. I was told to take the TOEFL and SAT tests (there were centers in London of course) This I did and modesty aside, I obtained pretty good scores. Then I had to send audition tapes of my piano playing to the various universities. In those days, it was all done on reel-to-reel tape—I had to purchase the tapes myself, but fortunately the school kindly consented to let me record my performances in one of the studios. And the sound engineer (Bob, I think) was happy with a pint or two after every session. I then had to mail these tapes to the various institutions.
After some nervous waiting, I received the replies in the mail. Eastman, Julliard, and Indiana said no. Missouri said yes, but was unable to offer financial aid to me. Texas and Minnesota said yes, they’d consider offering me financial aid after I arrived and did another audition—gulp, this was risky. Wisconsin told me to wait, my application for financial aid was still pending and under consideration. But at this time, I couldn’t afford to wait. It was now September 1980 and it was too late to enter for the Fall semester of that year. The only institution that offered me a Fine Arts scholarship on the basis of my taped audition was the University of Arizona. I had to make up my mind before it was too late, so I said yes to them.
The next thing I had to do was to get a US student visa. Not too difficult huh, considering that London had the largest US Embassy in the world at that time. Off I went, and by golly that place was like a fortress—this was just after the recent Iranian hostage crisis in November 1979. I was frisked, and ushered in. I waited for hours and hours to see an officer, and finally what happened was this—they told me that nobody was free to see me then and would I please return again for another appointment? UGH. Yeah, yeah, these things happen. Anyway, I managed to secure my student visa on the next trip, thank goodness.
Now I had to make the travel arrangements. Booked a one-way ticket from London to Los Angeles on Sir Freddie Laker’s Skytrain. I had made arrangements with the University to stay in one of the dorms. There would also be someone meeting me at LAX on arrival (it was something like a voluntary organization for foreign students) to guide me through Immigration and Customs. However, I’d be on my own from LA to Tucson, Arizona.
So one fine winter’s day in January 1981 I boarded a British Rail train from London’s Victoria Station and headed south to Gatwick Airport to catch my flight to the US. As the plane took off, I whispered a sad and fond farewell to England.
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Guest Post #2: Scenes of American Life revisited
Friday, April 24th, 2009 at
9:12 am
And the hits just keep coming…oops sorry, I meant guest posts. This one is from my good friend Leisa, who lives in Tucson, Arizona with her hubby Randy and their collection of pets. Plus two grown-up lovely daughters. Leisa’s post will tell you how she and I met, but I must say one thing—those were really good times. I’m talking about the early 80s when I was a Freshman at the University of Arizona. Yeah we goofed off, but we did study—hard. I remember those nights when I was in the library until 2 or 3 in the morning and…well I suppose that’s fodder for another blog post. Without any further ado, here’s Leisa’s guest post. Thanks again, my friend!
Hiya!!!!!. My name is Leisa and I am from Tucson, Arizona in the good ‘ole USA. Philip asked me if I would like to do a guest blog and I said sure. I have never done one and so I think this will be lots of fun. I have been friends with Philip since our 1980-1981 year at the University of Arizona. The exact circumstances of our meeting now escape me but that is ok. Suffice it to say we have been good friends for a very loooooooooong time. I was also studying Music at the University of Arizona. Philip and I had a few classes together and some other friends in common. We spent much time hard at the music scores but no matter how much I studied I just never quite got the hang of it. While Philip was just sailing through like on the smooth glass surface of the ocean, I struggled and thrashed around like a fish caught in the fisherman’s net! He has perfect pitch and so ear training was a breeze. So was writing and I so admired his gift. Needless to say, I never quite finished the music program.
However, that never kept us from staying in touch. As I went on to Pima College we always took time out to go to Wendy’s every Friday morning for coffee. We kept each other updated on all the happenings with our classes. We used to occasionally go to one of the large malls here in Tucson (which by the way are bigger now) and enjoy a bit of shopping time. As we passed the piano stores there I used to tell him, "Come on, Philip, show them how it is really done," as I stood and watched the pianist at a keyboard. Philip was always too modest and never took me up on the challenge. I was always certain, however, he was still better than any of them. Well, I will call that good for my first guest blog and next time continue on with Thanksgiving with my family in the USA. God Bless to all and thanks Philip for the opportunity to write a bit of history. Love Leisa
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