Years in America: The Paradox of Time (episode 10)
Now this is going to sound weird, and maybe I’ve been watching too many Twilight Zone reruns, but I will try to explain.
It was May 1984. I’d completed all the course requirements for my Bachelor of Music degree, and thousands of happy Undergraduates and Graduates like me were just waiting for Commencement (the Graduation ceremony held at McKale Center) This was a major milestone in my life, because it meant that I was now a formal Bachelor of Music, and that I would be returning home to Malaysia to carve out a living of my own. I was very fortunate that my parents took the trouble and expense (very last-minute, I might add) and decided to come out all the way to Tucson to attend my Commencement. I had told them that it wasn’t necessary as they had recently attended my brother’s graduation in London, England. I was worried that they were spending too much money. At that time in my life, I was looking forward to returning home (no more studying—yay)
Fast forward to the present—2009, and cue the Twilight Zone music, please. 25 years have passed—where did all those years go? And this is the strangest part. I woke up one morning, depressed, and it hit me like a ton of bricks—what if my destination wasn’t really my home? What if the place I left was actually where I should call my home?
The more I thought about it, the stronger this feeling grew. It was as if I shouldn’t have come back here, I should have stayed on in Tucson. Of course events would have changed dramatically if I had done that. And yet, something seemed to be telling me that I should have stayed in the USA.
It’s a little funny ending my Years in America episodes in this manner, but I have made up my mind about one thing: I will return to the United States as soon as I can.
God bless all of you.
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That was what I was asking myself for you…..why didn’t you….with your talent and music skill you would be highly appreciated and regarded….who knows…you could even land a big time position as a music conductor in one of the music halls. Let me know if and when you have gone over. Don’t forget to keep in touch always. Good luck and God Bless in all your endeavours.
The United States will be privileged to have you. And, your good friends cannot wait to see you again!
An epiphany can be a wonderful thing! Clarity in the pursuit of a dream is always good. It keeps one focused and on track. There is a goal. There is a brass ring waiting for you to grab onto. The journey will undoubtedly have obstacles, it is overcoming them that makes the path to our dreams so much more fulfilling. And when you finally reach the end of that hard fought path it will all (without question) be worth it.
Doreen: why didn’t I? It’s complicated. Doris: thank you as always for being such a kind friend to me with all my ups and downs. Rest assured I will venture into your neck of the woods when I make it to the States.
And Crystal: I can’t wait to see you again too. P/S You owe me dinner at eegee’s.